His name was Peter Anderson and he was a friend of mine. Even when this strapping Army Veteran was suffering with terminal cancer, he never stopped fighting for the American democracy he so revered.
I write this article in his memory and for those, like Dr. James Eastham and Dr. Chris Nelson of Sloan Kettering, who are at the front fighting this dreaded disease. They have all truly inspired me.
I looked up and she was standing right above me. Maybe she was my surgeon’s daughter. But, what was she doing in Sloan Kettering’s operating room?
Oh, I know! It must be the “bring your kid to work” program. But then, she unexpectedly introduced herself and any confidence I had in Sloan’s reputation dissolved into utter panic.
“Hi Dr. Morris, I’m the anesthesiologist and I am doing your cancer surgery today.”
Oh my God, she’s my what?
Did she say, “my doctor”?
She looks 17 .
I must be her first patient, ever! Forget the cancer, I’ll never survive the anesthesia.
Five years ago, I was on that operating-room table waiting impatiently for Sloan’s “docs” to cut out that “damn cancer.”
Sorry for the profanity, but that’s exactly how I felt. My life was over. How could this be happening to me?
I do not drink or smoke. I am at the gym every morning. I try to eat a healthy, balanced diet. (O.K., Dunkin’ Donuts once a week is not exactly healthy.)
All those vitamins and supplements. I have spent a lifetime helping others. After practicing 38 years, I was finally enjoying an incredible retirement. And now this happens. I was really pissed. (Sorry again.)
It was time for “foxhole prayers.” After all, it was my last chance to speak to God, before little Tracey, or Stacy or what ever her name was, did her thing, sending that “happy stuff” into my veins.
Of course, I started by praying for a successful surgical result.
But, since I had God on the line, I might as well ask him what was really on my mind. How could he do this to me? I was filled with so much resentment.
It did not take long for God to return my phone call. He had other plans for me, plans that not only would make living with cancer easier, but an involvement in new projects and interests, which would change my life forever.
1 – Two months later I started helping other prostate cancer patients.
2 – I went to Washington with 1,200 other doctors to first study and then to oppose President Obama’s new government run health-care initiative.
3 – Three months later I was at my first political meeting and my new “political career” had begun.
There was no time to waste, too much to do, and definitely no time to feel sorry for myself.
Nothing can be put off anymore. I was given a new lease on life and I wasn’t going to blow it now. Thank you God.
Today, I am five years cancer-free and I am truly a contented man.
I feel I have really made a difference. Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me. Do you believe I actually said that? But its true.
1 – Cancer has “taught me” to live one day at a time and to make the most out of every day as if it were my last.
2 – Cancer has reintroduced me to my higher power, and has given me the courage to try things that I thought were only for other people.
And finally, perhaps most importantly,
3 – it has taught me to appreciate my incredible wife and family.
Only a cancer patient truly understands the fear, anxiety and anger that goes along with this dreaded disease.
We start to isolate. We feel sorry for ourselves. We retreat into our own little world. We always assume that the battle with cancer has a forgone conclusion. And it’s not good!!
However, my newly discovered faith in God has changed all that .
To those of you who have cancer, please, I beg you, never, ever give up, even when it seems so difficult to go on.
To those of you whose love one has this dreaded disease, please try and be as kind, compassionate, and patient with them as you can. Unfortunately, you cannot cure them. Sometimes, all we need is someone who will listen to us. I know how difficult it is to ignore our outbursts, our mood swings, and our self centered behavior.
It is just the result of the fear and anxiety that we live with every day of our lives. (Do not believe my wife when she tells you I was always that way.) It may take us some time but we will get around to thanking you.
And finally, do not take it seriously (or personally) when we tell you that we want to be alone. No matter what we say, we cannot conquer this dreaded disease without you. Retreat is not an option.
But, “For every door that closes, another one opens”.
Eventually God will tell you what is behind that newly opened door.
Dr. Stephen Morris, DDS
North Hills
