At first glance, one can easily believe that sports are all about aggression. Football, hockey, basketball and boxing are physical games that produce broken bones, muscle tears, concussions and a variety of cuts and gashes every game.
I once asked New York Knicks basketball legend Dave DeBusschere if basketball was a rough sport and he remarked “Well, I’ve had my nose broken seven times. Does that answer your question?”
Our aggressive drive or destrudo is one of the two basic biological drives with libido or sexuality being the other. Athletes are tasked with the role of tapping into their aggressive drive but without losing control of it.
If you lose control of aggression in boxing you hit below the belt and get disqualified. This kind of behavior can lead to a major brawl as it did in Madison Square Garden at the Riddick Bowe/Andrew Golota heavyweight fight in 1996.
After Golota was disqualified for hitting below the belt, one of Riddick Bowe’s handlers started hitting Golota on the head with a phone which then led to the brawl in the Garden involving hundreds of fans and boxers alike.
If you let your opponent rattle you in basketball it can lead to a brawl. The “Malice in the Palace” refers to the infamous brawl between the Indiana Pacers and the Detroit Pistons in 2004.
A foul by Ron Artest led Ben Wallace to shove him back which led to the worst brawl in NBA history. To give you an idea of the consequences of this little fight, it cost Ron Artest an estimated $50 million in fines, lost salary and lost endorsements.
Before that, he was a hometown hero growing up in Queens and playing at St. Johns. Since then Ron entered psychotherapy and remarked “NBA players are just normal people. They deserve to be treated as normal, and sometimes it’s hard to be normal when you’re playing at the highest level and playing before millions of people.”
Even in golf, a PGA tour player will be fined $25,000 for breaking a club and a Korean superstar was recently suspended two years following a moment where he gave the middle finger to a fan.
Yes, sports demands one to be aggressive but it also demands that this aggression be controlled to a very high degree and players must manage their anger on a constant basis.
Even if the player manages to control anger and aggression during play they are susceptible to aggressive acting out off the field which can prove problematic. I once worked with a lightweight boxing champion and our biggest concern was how he acted outside the ring.
If anyone was foolish enough to pick a fight with him on the street he never backed down and this led to big problems since as a professional boxer his hands were considered weapons under the law.
Too much anger leads players to alcohol or marijuana in an effort to gain control. A primary cause of alcoholism is the patient’s desperate efforts to gain control over inner unconscious rage.
Anger and aggression can lead to accidents, injuries or a variety of psychosomatic illnesses including headaches, muscle pain, back pain and gastrointestinal illnesses. All team physician know that the athlete’s anxiety, depression or anger is often expressed through chronic psychosomatic illnesses they are asked to treat.
“What’s love got to do with it?”
Over the years I have come to realize that athletes need aggression but they need some kindness and love as well. The Yankees found this truth out during their play against the Astros.
They embraced the mantra “We are savages” and the club marketed around this slogan. But anyone could see they that played tight rather than loose and this led to underperformance. They also needed some playfulness, some fun, some love to put them at ease.
You can learn about human dynamics by reading the great works of literature. In Victor Hugo’s “Les Miserables” the central character, Jean Valjean, was first an angry, bitter criminal who was a danger to himself and others. He was then given shelter, kindness, love and forgiveness by Bishop Myriels and this infusion of goodness transformed Valjean into a saintly hero and one of the most revered figures in literature.
Many modern-day film classics like “King Kong” or “The Hulk” reveal how the dangerous beast needs a touch of love and gentleness in order to control its rage. Freud called our aggression “Destrudo” seated in our muscles which need tempering by love and support so as not to get too intense.
Popeye had Olive Oil, John Kennedy had Jackie and Ronald Reagan had Nancy. So if you’re a powerful athlete that wants a career that lasts you had better have either a good mother, a good wife, a good coach or a good therapist. And if perhaps you are married to an athlete you ought to understand that your love and affection are just as crucial as gym workouts or training lessons.
If you don’t accept my word for it just go ask Ron Artest how it felt to lose $50 million due to an uncontrolled temper.
