I was talking with a friend when she said, “It never hurts to be early for something.”
The next words out of my mouth were, “Actually, it can.”
Take the time I arrived early for dinner, meeting a bunch of new friends in a nearby restaurant.
I was half an hour early, in fact — for a restaurant that makes a point out of seating people on time.
The only thing I’d be able to do for that half hour, I feared, was sit at the bar — spending money I couldn’t spare, consuming calories I didn’t need, and probably spilling something on my shirt, into the bargain, just as everyone else walked in.
Great way to make a first impression!
But sitting in my car was no great option, either, because it was a surprisingly hot day.
So I stepped out, locked the car, and looked around. I noticed an enticing little shop, facing me across the parking lot, so I walked down to it and stepped inside.
I was able to pass a pleasant 25 minutes, pretending I was furnishing my Gold Coast estate with chandeliers, silver punchbowls and Limoges china.
Then I walked back up to my car, so I could check my lipstick in the mirror before showing up, spot on time, at the restaurant.
Except my car wasn’t there. It wasn’t there!
“Now, Judy,” says my friend. “Did you look a row or two beyond where you were sure you had left it?” “Yes, and nothing.”
“And did you try using the remote to find it?”
“Of course I did! I’m not an idiot. You think I’ve never lost track of my car, before?”
“If you have, you’ve never told me about it.”
“Because I’m not an idiot! But this time, it was really gone!”
I tried a few more times. Still no car. Hard to misplace a whole car, even for me.
Had I stupidly left it running? Or left the keys in it? No, the keys were right in my hand.
Reluctantly, I concluded it must have been stolen. I took out my phone to call the police. That’s when a heavy-set man smoking nearby informed me that the car had most likely been towed. He pointed to a sign:
“TOW AWAY ZONE.
Illegally parked and unauthorized vehicles will be towed at vehicle owner’s expense. If you leave this parking lot, take your car with you or you will be towed. The Management.”
The result was that one cab ride, two hours, and $300 later, I was back where I’d started. Or rather, I was back home. Without dinner. And all because I’d arrived too early!
Another time may have been even worse: the time my husband and I showed up early for his sister’s wedding.
I admit this was totally out of character for us. We weren’t even on time for our own wedding! “So what are they going to do? Start without us?” my husband-about-to-be had asked.
But this time, he had agreed to shoot a video of the event for his sister, and we felt obliged to get there early so he could scope out the location.
The caterer was still folding napkins when someone came over to me and, pointing toward my husband, asked me, “What is his name?” So I told them.
“And how does he spell it?” I wasn’t sure why they wanted to know, but I chalked it up to just some security thing.
Hours later, the party was in full swing when I noticed my husband standing still. He was pointing the video camera at the wedding cake — for a very long time. Too long. I went over to see what was up.
“Is something wrong with the camera, sweetie?”
“Not the camera. The cake. Why does this cake think I’m marrying my sister?”
Instead of the traditional bride-and-groom cake topper, this cake’s top layer bore a frosting message: “Congratulations,” it said, to the bride and….my husband’s name instead of the groom’s!
We whisked the cake back to the kitchen, where the frosting was re-done and the groom’s name corrected. And the bride would never have known…if only we had remembered to edit the shot — a lingering close-up — of the wrong name out of the finished video!
Luckily, both bride and groom had a good sense of humor. But I have certainly learned my lesson. When it comes to showing up for things — better late than sorry!
