As part of the ongoing Great Neck Plaza TEP Project, construction on Mayor Jean Celender’s vanity park in front of the post office (aka, public plaza) is underway, in spite of the fact that the community neither wants it or needs it — another example of Queen Jean giving away ice in the wintertime.
Nevertheless, I would like to offer a few suggestions that would place the park in contention for the Eighth Wonder of the World.
A permanent porta potty should be prominently placed in the public plaza for the people’s pleasure. The door should bear a pewter plaque, proudly proclaiming “Welcome to Jean’s John.”
In winter, all the neighborhood children should gather together in the park to frolic in the snow and build a giant ice statue of a woman on a pedestal, wearing a long, flowing dress and a spiked crown.
In her raised right hand the ice figure will be holding a torch, and cradled in her left arm will be a tablet with the following inscription: “The Ice Queen Cometh!” A stone plate, etched with words of wisdom, will rest on the pedestal supporting the queen.
But alas, cometh the spring, the Ice Queen melteth, leaving behind only the stone plate bearing these words: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning for a place to park.”
Instead of an unwanted park, construction of a resident parking plaza would be more appropriate, welcome and appreciated.
It’s time for the Jean Machine Regime to go!
Leo Pfeifer
Village of Neck Plaza
(We want our “Great” back!)
