Our house: not an anchor but a mast

Jack Martins

My  calendar is jam-packed.  There are countless hours wading through paperwork  and  policy  and  long days turned to night spent in legislative session  at  the  State House in Albany.  

When I’m home here on the Island, I’m tending to dozens of constituent problems and a typical day includes at least  six  or  seven  functions  or  meetings  in our various communities. 

Weekends hold even more (no exaggeration) but the community work is what I love most  minus all the driving.

Now  take into account that my brothers and sisters are just as busy.

There are five of us siblings, with two sets of twins and as hectic as we are with  our wives, husbands, children, and jobs, our entire family still manages  to  regroup  at my mother¹s house on a weekly basis to break bread and spend time with the extended family.  For us it provides a much-needed respite and it reminds us that family is what’s most important.

Naturally, the  home-cooking  and  camaraderie  are  key  but  truth be told, even the ear-splitting  commotion  the  19  of us make (22 with our dogs) is somehow comforting.   

At  the  center  of this whirlwind you will find my mom, who quietly  brings  this  eclectic  brood  together in order to keep us moving forward. To borrow a sentiment from the poet Khalil Gibran, our house is not an anchor but a mast and my mom continuously hoists it for us.

That’s why  no  matter  how  crazy  my schedule or stressful the situation, simply hearing  her  voice  defuses  a  lot  of  pressure  for  me.  Her  love is unconditional and that somehow right-sizes everything else.

That’s probably also why I believe so many of our societal ills could be  helped by pursuing one simple strategy: to hold up and support the role of  motherhood.  I’m  not  alone in thinking so.  One need only search the word  online  and  thousands  upon  thousands of pages of research studies, papers and  just  plain old common sense, make it clear: mothers play a pivotal role in societal development.

For  most, the first real unit we belong to is family.  It’s where we learn  to  interact, to grow and most importantly. It’s where we develop a sense  of  belonging  and  accountability to someone other than ourselves. It’s a microcosm of a larger community, and since time immemorial, mothers have  been  the primary shapers of that experience.  

Unfortunately, I think we’ve  seen  those qualities go haywire more and more as the role of family becomes diminished in our increasingly fast-paced world.

To  be  sure,  we  should celebrate the personal love we have for our moms  and  the  unconditional  love  they have for us on Mother’s Day. But maybe we can honor them another way.  Maybe we can use the day to recognize how  vital mothers are to our society and commit ourselves to building them up, whomever and wherever they may be.   

Author Ellen Key expressed it best when she wrote, “The mother is the most precious possession of the nation, so precious that society advances its highest well-being when it protects the functions of the mother.”

I  couldn’t agree more.  And while it may sound simplistic to all the policy  wonks, I can think of no surer way to better our world than to make sure  moms  have  the  love  and  support they need to raise good families. 

Happy  Mother’s  day to my  mom,  my  wife, and to all the wonderful moms reading this column.  Your gifts are immeasurable.

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