With apologies to comedies slightly older (“Cheers”), slightly newer (“Arrested Development”) and slightly stranger (“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”), “Seinfeld” remains the best American television comedy. Without apology to any of you, I’d like to air some grievances in the grand tradition of today’s holiday, A Festivus (For the Rest of Us!).
– We don’t need $200 million lights on the Mario Cuomo Bridge. It’s a waste! The essential infrastructure of the Festivus celebration – the Festivus pole – is everything we should strive for our infrastructure to be- unadorned, optimized for efficient maintenance and mercenarily suited to its purpose.
When Frank Costanza describes the Festivus pole to Kramer, he notes that “it requires no decoration. I find tinsel to be distracting.”
Get this man on the MTA Board!
– The same Democrats who chased 25,000 jobs, billions in stable state revenue and a state-of-the art Amazon headquarters out of New York are now deeply troubled that the state doesn’t have enough revenue to do everything they want to do.
– Democrats need to stop comparing their botched criminal justice overhaul with New Jersey’s more reasonable effort. From Long Island to Lockport, criticisms of the program have centered on the elimination of judicial discretion in the pretrial detention process for a host of serious crimes, including aggravated vehicular manslaughter, cartel-affiliated drug trafficking and certain child sex offenses.
These are potentially dangerous criminals who shouldn’t be automatically released.
In New Jersey, voters were allowed to choose if they wanted to protect judges’ option to hold potentially dangerous individuals in custody until their trials. It passed with overwhelming support.
Allowing the people to choose to keep important public safety protections in a referendum is much different than how Democrats passed their radical legislation- in the middle of the night with no oversight from the press, no input from law enforcement and prosecutors and no Republican support.
– In a related grievance, no more all-night sessions. It’s a strain on staff. It’s dangerous to ask people to drive home at 6:00 a.m. with no sleep. Most of all, it’s avoidable. Wanton procrastination followed by sloppy, inspired bursts of productivity the night before an important deadline is something we should’ve all gotten out of our systems in college.
– In a grievance that may now sound hypocritical, if we do have to stay late, the Dunkin’ Donuts in the Capitol needs to stay open.
-Finally, if Democrats don’t want to rein in government spending so we can create jobs and allow New Yorkers to share in the economic growth that’s surging around the country, perhaps we can reach across the aisle to some Seinfeld fans by encouraging them to consider tax cuts donations to the Human Fund (money for people).
Happy Festivus.
